


"THE DEMONS OF THE HEART."  [ A SEBASTIAN STAN HALLOWEEN STORY ].

by A_Wolf



Category: Halloween - Fandom, Horror - Fandom, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: A.Wölf, F/M, Halloween, Tumblr, theartofimagining13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wolf/pseuds/A_Wolf
Summary: A therapy session of a woman with a broken heart and thirst for revenge on her former lover, Sebastian. While trying to overcome her demons during her grief of love, her bad thoughts materialize one before her eyes who offers her a grisly deal.A cautionary tale for “bad” men.
Relationships: Sebastian Stan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	"THE DEMONS OF THE HEART."  [ A SEBASTIAN STAN HALLOWEEN STORY ].

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Violence. Deathwish.
> 
> This is a very dark story and depiction of some of the worst things that can reside in the human mind and heart.
> 
> This is a work of fiction and does not encourage readers to seek revenge, hurt others or themselves. The actor mentioned here is just portraying these original characters of mine.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Originally posted at** : [The Art of Imagining](http://theartofimagining13.tumblr.com/).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[*AMBIENCE*](https://youtu.be/mPZkdNFkNps) / [*MUSIC*](https://youtu.be/Z7NPkrq_Rg0)

* * *

_“Can you die of sadness?_

_Of… rage?_

_It feels as if it’s been raining forever.”_

I say while standing in front of the window with my arms wrapped around me because it’s so cold, and because if I’m not holding myself tight enough, I just might fall to pieces.

 _“It’s been a long winter.”_ My therapist says and I can feel her eyes on my back. _“You seem restless. Are the bad memories back?”_

I turn around and stare at her. She adjusts her glasses. I take a seat on the chair across from her. What day is it?

 _“There are good days. There are bad days.”_ I say.

I can’t stop bouncing my right knee up and down and biting my left ring fingernail. I’m sure I look scruffy and like I’m going through some sort of withdrawal, and in a way, I am.

 _“You can’t die of sadness or anger per se but any emotion without a suitable outlet can lead to illness in the long run.”_ She says.

 _“Yes, I know.”_ I take a deep breath. I cannot go over this again, even when I catch myself thinking about it I force myself to stop. But then again, she says I must. _“Ever since… he…”_

_“Sebastian?”_

_“Yes.”_ I shut my eyes and almost shudder at his name. _“Ever since Sebastian… left me, I’ve… I don’t know. I’ve felt all these things.”_ I begin. _“Rage. An infinite sadness. As if time stopped.”_ I prefer to look out the window again. I am not going to cry. _“Do you know what it’s like to just stay in bed scrolling on your phone for hours, wasting many days away? You don’t feel like doing anything, you don’t want to go out, you don’t want to eat or watch TV. You just lie there, going through social media and realizing just how terrible your life is while everyone else is out there living it up? You’re just… in a very tiresome and endless loop.”_

I realize I need a cigarette. I’ve said more than I thought I would.

 _“We’ve been through this.”_ My therapist claims. _“Social media is nothing but an illusion each user creates based upon their lives. Most people don’t post the difficult things they go through, only the good and exciting ones. And if you’re going through bad times, it makes you feel like you’re the only one who suffers but no one’s life is perfect.”_

I pull out the cigarette and light it up with a slightly trembling hand before I take a long drag and allow the smoke to fill me with relief.

_“All my friends are getting married or having children. Some of them are even getting divorced already and I couldn’t even make this one fucking guy stay.”_

The angry tears are welling up in my eyes. Time to look at the rain.

 _“You mustn’t compare yourself to others.”_ She scolds me. _“Everyone lives their life at a different pace and that’s okay.”_

I scoff.

 _“Tell me about the rage…”_ The therapist encourages. _“What is it that you find enraging?”_

I glare at her. Shake my head and let out a bitter chuckle. There’s nothing but poison running through my veins. The poison he fed me.

_“He said he loved me, you know? He didn’t even give me enough time to say it back.”_

_“Did you love him?”_

_“I didn’t even figure it out. Not in time at least.”_

_“What’s making you upset then?”_

_“No one had ever treated me like he did. Like I was his whole world and like he couldn’t see past me.”_ I take another drag on my cigarette.

_“And yet he disappeared on you.”_

I blow out the smoke and nod with widened eyes. What a low yet truthful blow.

 _“I saw him the other day, you know? At the grocery store. There he was, Sebastian, at the checkout counter. We hadn’t spoken in months, I was just starting to feel like myself again but there he was and everything went to shit again.”_ I swallow hard and clench my jaw. _“With his wife.”_

 _“How did that make you feel?”_ She asks.

I look her in the eye.

 _“Like telling her everything.”_ I put the cigarette out in the ashtray on top of the coffee table. _“The motherfucker didn’t even glance at me. We fucked so many times. I even went down on him. He went down on me. But God forbid he fucking waves at me.”_

_“You’ve told me that his wife is a very jealous woman, have you not?”_

_“Oh, the cunt is fucking crazy.”_ I say nodding quickly.

_“So, haven’t you considered the possibility that he didn’t greet you because she was there and it could’ve gotten him in trouble?”_

_“Yeah, of course. He’s a fucking pussy when it comes to her.”_

She adjusts her glasses again. I know she’s used to these types of things but I can’t help but wonder if my language is bothering her. Truth is, I don’t give a flying fuck. This is supposed to heal me.

 _“Why did you say you felt like telling his wife everything?”_ She inquires.

_“Because I could destroy Sebastian in a second, and I wish he knew that so he’d show me some fucking respect.”_

_“I think he knows that. That’s why he didn’t even wave at you. He’s clearly afraid of his wife like you mentioned before.”_

_“Then why the fuck did he have an affair with me?”_

_“Infidelity is lack of self-love and a form of self-sabotage.”_ She clarifies. _“He doesn’t have the courage to leave his wife, so he subconsciously wishes to get caught so that she will leave him instead. And that also means not making her angry multiple times but just the one time that will set him free.”_

_“They’re just a pair of leeches those two. Sucking the life out of each other yet forcing a marriage that hasn’t worked for years now.”_

_“I’m worried.”_ My therapist says. _“If you know this… if you know that he’s not a good man or not good for you, then why do you want him in your life?”_

I pull out another cigarette and light it up with a chuckle.

 _“Daddy issues?”_ I ask.

I take a drag but stare at the cigarette in my hand and add something else.

_“You know… I didn’t even smoke before this fucking mess. Hell, I didn’t even drink, and now I find myself smoking and doing shots of vodka during lunch break to pull through.”_

_“That’s your own form of self-sabotage.”_

I stare at her expectantly.

_“When the pain and the frustration become too much to handle, you somehow try to destroy yourself with these bad habits.”_

_“I guess you’re right.”_ I say.

_“Are you letting the rage out?”_

_“I screamed into a pillow and beat the shit out of it the other day until I was exhausted and my throat gave out. I lost my voice for two days. It’s actually my new hobby.”_

_“That’s actually very good. And if you feel like doing it three days in a row or more, feel free to do it. You have to let everything out and once you do, you’ll feel lighter. The important thing here is that you don’t bottle it up and end up taking it out on someone or falling ill. Are you still getting migraines?”_

I shook my head.

 _“Not anymore but for a long time I just felt… ill. All these things started happening to me in a row. The pain of Sebastian not keeping his promises and leaving all of a sudden turned physical for me. I was losing weight. I wasn’t getting much sleep, then maybe abusing the sleeping pills a little because I preferred to sleep most of the time rather than having him in my head every.single.second. And then, sometimes I’d dream of him. Weird symptoms would appear out of nowhere. A sore throat haunted me for months and this was way before the screaming therapy. It was probably from keeping all this shit to myself when all I wanted to do was scream at him. I’ve even had chest discomfort. It’s ridiculous.”_ I say with a hand wave and getting back to my cigarette.

_“This is exactly why I can’t stress this enough. You need to keep on letting it all out until there’s nothing left to say. You mentioned you wanted to scream at him… do you wish you could get violent with him?”_

_“I’ve wished to see, at least, half the amount of pain I’ve felt reflected on him many times.”_

_“How so?”_ She asks. _“Do you wish you could inflict it upon him?”_

 _“Yes.”_ I confess _. “Sometimes, I feel like breaking his face. He’s all happy and calm because he doesn’t give a shit about anything. He just went back to her and I went back to black.”_

_“He’s not happy and you know that. If he was happy with her and truly loved her, he wouldn’t have cheated on her. He just has a very toxic and codependent relationship. Did you know that most marriages work this way? Both parties are very unhappy yet unwilling to leave and take the chance to start over. They feel like there’s no such thing, especially if they’ve reached a certain age and there are kids involved, and they’d rather stay in this incredibly unhappy place than risk ending up alone. They also use children as an excuse. They think that if they get divorced, they’re setting a bad example for their offspring. Meanwhile, they fight almost every day in the household and unknowingly teach them that that is love; staying even if it’s slowly killing you inside, and the vicious cycle carries on infecting generation after generation.”_

_“That’s fucking sad.”_

_“Did you ever truly want him to leave his wife?”_

I let irony take over my face.

 _“I’ll never love him like her.”_ I say with nothing but sarcasm, and she only waits for me to get serious. _“I thought about it a lot. But more so than that, I asked myself why he wouldn’t because he just complained so much about her. And yet he fears her like a child. I don’t blame him.”_ I put the cigarette out and raise my eyebrows. _“She’s fucking ugly.”_

The therapist’s eyes follow me as I rise up from my seat to stand by the window again.

 _“You know, I just…”_ I trail off with hesitance _. “I just wish he had stayed longer.”_ I sound sad now. No longer angry. _“I miss him. I hate him. I miss him again.”_

 _“Healing is not linear.”_ She assures.

What a gray day, I think to myself. Haven’t they all been all this time? Then I remember something I’ve been wanting to tell her.

_“I keep on having this recurrent nightmare…”_

The sleeping pills I had been taking made me hazy.

It was worse if the effectiveness failed somehow and I woke up in the middle of night. I never knew if I was dreaming or not. I saw Sebastian standing in front of my bed. I had to be dreaming then. But when I sat up and looked him in the eye, I realized it was a nightmare for there was not an inch of white in his eyes; they were completely dark.

He would smile at me.

_“Sebastian?”_

He just waved a finger at me.

 _“What the fuck are you doing here?”_ I asked.

I had conjured up so much negativity that I had vomited a thick black substance that evening. Probably why I woke up. The sleeping pills must’ve come out. I had a fever which was probably causing the nightmare. All this negative energy and resentment in me had invited a demon into my life.

And he looked just like Sebastian.

 _“You’ve been moping around and hating on a certain human for a long time now, haven’t you, poor soul?”_ He’d say. _“Wasting your life away with all this thirst for revenge.”_

I would just stare at him. The resemblance was uncanny.

 _“I have an offer for you…”_ He said.

He casually sat on the bed, next to me as if we were and had been best friends forever.

 _“I can end your suffering.”_ The demon promised _. “Right here. Right now. No more pain.”_

He smiled at me.

 _“How so?”_ I asked.

_“You would have to agree to give me your soul.”_

_“And what would happen to me?”_

_“Well, you would… drop dead.”_ I guess, judging by the look on my face that he felt he needed to try and persuade me. _“Did I mention no suffering?”_

Death… it was inviting at times, I’m not going to lie.

 _“Well,”_ He interrupted my train of thought. _“Only for your mother when she finds your lifeless body on the bed.”_

That was cruel.

 _“What if I say no?”_ I inquired.

_“Then make an offering.”_

_“How?”_

He hummed.

_“Kill someone for me. Anyone you want. Children get you bonus points. Not many have the guts.”_

I tried to ignore that last part. This was even more inviting; my heartbreaker leaving this planet instead of me. My mind started rushing and I knew my eyes had a different glint on them as I fantasized. I think the demon read my mind.

 _“Another soul it is!”_ He exclaimed with an evil chuckle.

I could tell, he had done this with too many people and they always chose someone else. Maybe that explained all the gnarly murders taking place in this city lately.

_“You know how dreams work, right?”_ I say to my therapist.

Suddenly, I become aware of my surroundings. I am still in session, and I carry on after she nods.

 _“Next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Sebastian’s small workplace under the everlasting rain of this city. I would knock on the door, he’d be surprised to see me but he’d glance left and right to make sure no one had seen me. What a bastard. He wouldn’t be caught dead waving at me if we ran into each other but he would let me into his workplace at the slightest possibility of sex.”_ I smile with disbelief. _“The stupidity of men keeps on blowing my mind. It shouldn’t at this point.”_

My therapist gives a half smile. After all, she’s a woman. We’re definitely the smart gender.

 _“Once we’re inside, in the dream, I start flirting with the idiot of course. I try not to grimace at his bullshit. ‘I missed you’, ‘I wanted to call you but blah blah blah.’”_ I roll my eyes. _“A million cheap excuses.”_

I take a deep breath to prepare for big finale.

 _“I just sit there, listening to him and forcing smiles, but as soon as he turns around, I stab him in the back like he did with me only I do it with a big kitchen knife. Once. Twice. Countless times as I let all the rage out, and the horror in his eyes, I enjoy it. And when he takes his last breath and exhales, I rejuvenate and take back all the time he made me waste.”_ I pause. _“I’m sure I am not the first woman he did that to… he plays us like that. Played. Unfortunately for him, I was the one he shouldn’t have messed with.”_

My therapist frowns slightly, analyzing me. I hear myself and I know it sounds awful but it was only a dream and a projection of everything I had been through.

I carry on.

 _“I’m suddenly entering my home, covered in blood from head to toe and with a cigarette dangling from my lips. A feast awaits at my dining room table which is beautifully decorated with candles and flowers. I sit down, magically cleaned up and wearing a beautiful black dress now, and a man I have never seen before dressed like a butler places a plate before me. The demon appears at the opposite end of the table and grins at me proudly. I see the glass of wine to my right and take a sip but then I look down at my plate and back at the demon horrified. He makes a hand gesture and I know I must finish what I started. I grab Sebastian’s heart with my hand, somehow it seems to be beating still and blood drips everywhere as I bite into it. As I crush it with my teeth and chew on it, I can feel in my mouth when it finally stops beating. The demon enjoys himself to no end.”_ I look at my therapist in the eye. _“I ate his little fucking heart.”_

She takes a deep breath, taking in everything I’ve just said and clears her throat.

_“There’s clearly a lot of healing to do, but I see improvement now that you’re letting things out in different ways. It’s become easier for you to talk about how he made you feel. Dreams and nightmares are cathartic for your body and mind as well.”_

She glances at the clock, and I follow her line of sight. Time is up. I do feel much lighter and calm. I am thinking straight now. I get up and so does she. But before she opens the door for me to leave, she looks at me.

 _“How does the nightmare make you feel once you’re awake?”_ She asks.

_“You want to know if I regret what I did in it?”_

_“I’m a little worried.”_ She teases.

I chuckle.

 _“I believe in karma.”_ I say. _“It’s going to get him sooner or later.”_

_“Do you believe in demons?”_

_“I think the one in my dream is just a representation of my own demons.”_

She stares at me, quite impressed and gives a couple nods with a demure smile.

_“Very good. They live inside you but you mustn’t let them win. You’re here to overcome not become your demons.”_

We say our goodbyes and, when I walk out of the building, I put my hood on and light my third cigarette under the rain. I glance up at the 13th floor, my therapist’s. She’s on the window, looking down at me. I wave. Her eyes are completely dark. I blink again. No, they’re not.

At night… the same nightmare takes place.

I wake up as soon as the demon and I are done dining. My stomach is turning and I run to the bathroom and kneel in front of the toilet to vomit. I see blood. Little pieces or raw meat. I realize my hands are covered in blood as well. I rush to the sink and wash them thoroughly. Did I really wake up, or is this a dream within a dream? I splash my face and look in the mirror. I’m startled by the lightning bolt lighting up the room. The demon is right behind me and he shows an evil smile, but I turn on the lights and he’s gone.

I take a deep breath and allow relief to take over my whole body. But as I walk back to my bedroom, chills run down my spine while my eyes widen until they well up with fearful tears. There was no nightmare; I was fully awake the whole time, and Sebastian’s severed head was staring back at me from my bed.

Thunder distracts me so I turn to the window but can’t see past my reflection… and my brand new black eyes.

I had become the demon in me.


End file.
